It's Not Easy Being Beige

Feb. 19, 2013

Today I am 194.0 pounds of rolling thunder.

Like my old friend Kermit the frog is so fond of saying, it's not easy beinggreen.

And it's really not easy eating green when most of your favorite meals are beige.

Beige meals are the chunky man's friend. You know, brown meat, with brown potatoes and a brown piece of bread. It's the monochromatic taste palette handed down from the days of the caveman. It's our inalienable right to eat meat with a side of meat. It's beef, and it's what's for dinner.

And there's nothing better than a whole plate of carbohydrates right out of the beige book. Let's see, bread -- check. Cookies, check. Cereal, check and double check. Cake, color it any way you want but down deep it's still beige at heart. So check, check and check. Guys love them all.

Beige is cool. Beige is fun. Hipsters eat beige. #Millennials eat #Beige. Beige is young and #sexy. It's in our DNA to mix mashed potatoes and gravy with homemade egg noodles. I'm pretty sure it's in the Constitution.

But when the doctor says your cholesterol number looks like the over and under of an NBA basketball game, it's time to put the beige food down, which won't be easy given that I'm allergic to eating green. Oh, not really allergic, I just have not taste for the leafy stuff. Yard clippings have a better flavor when they hit my taste buds than the average lettuce salad.

That whole eating from a trough filled with many colors is going to be rough. Now fruits I can handle, but those pesky veggies are going to be a problem. I have worked for years to refine my beige menu, and I don't adjust well to changes.

But here's the deal, I might not become a vegetarian overnight, but I can easily scoot away some of the unnecessary late-night beige bites, aka cookies. And bread won't be missed. It's just finding a way to sneak in better food.

And getting out and moving is the key. This time of year with the weather ups and downs it can be difficult hitting the streets. And somehow, finding the wheel of your indoor bike can be a grind. But now's the time.

So Kermit, here we go, my new motto is it's not easy being less beige. I think it's got a real ring to it, don't you?

Going to try and get out on the road today, but the weather's got a real bite to it. If you see me out there my fellow bundled up runner, give me a wave ... a great, big beige wave.