March 18, 2013
Today spring break started in earnest, and I
haven't the foggiest notion how many pounds of rolling thunder I am. Just rest
assured I'm still over the 190-pound mark.
But things they could be a changing come Friday.
Well, temporarily change as I get to go for the dreaded colonoscopy, which I
have been assured by countless friends, relatives and total strangers on the
Internet that the prep is, in fact, worse than the test.
On Thursday I get to start taking something
called MoviPrep to get ready for the test. Humorist Dave Barry described this substance as
a "nuclear laxative" that tastes like "like a mixture of goat
spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon."
Friends have told me that you pass things out of your system that you ate for lunch in the third grade.
Ah so much to look forward to on spring break.
But you know what? I'd rather be safe than sorry.
So it's a little inconvenient for a day or two. I'm sure my tune will be
different as I go through the process, but you reach the age and you've got to
buck up and do the dance.
Besides, you won't be missing the world's slowest
human. Weather permitting, I'm still getting out there.
Today was no great run. After a couple of days
off, it was all about moving and less about how far or how fast. But that's OK.
At least it was out on the road and not down on the stationary bike.
So this week will be all about getting mentally
and physically prepped for the big test. Just what I know I wanted to be doing
on spring break. How about you?
At this point all I can say is if you see the world's slowest human out
running, wave twice because I'm headed to colon-cleansing paradise.
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