Friday, February 15, 2013

7 Habits of all Mediocre Runners

Feb. 15, 2013

I trust you all survived Valentine's Day, and I am assured that any candy, cake or other treat eaten standing up has no calories.

So I got this blog post in my email box today, or was in posted on LinkedIn? Either way, LMAO funny.

The title is "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective MediocrePeople," and it didn't take long to figure out that these are the same highly practiced habits of most of the runners I know. 

Now with a tip of the hat to author By James Altucher who penned this blog, I have to admit he's nailed most of us runners right on the head with his blog post.

1. Procrastinate - Runners and couch slugs alike can appreciate this one. Why go out for a run when there's an "NCIS" marathon airing on the USA Network? That Tony, he's always mixing things up with Zeva. And are you a Kate person of a Zeva person.

I think there's even a Gibb's rule that requires procrastination.

2. Zero Task - Let's not confuse zero-tasking with no-tasking. Everyone these days is tied up in the multitasking craze. Who just runs anymore when you can run, chase yourself on Zombie Run on your smart phone, follow along your wrist-mounted GPS and listen to your iPod?

I say get back to either one- or two tasking. Run. Or run and listen to some music. Enough with making your relaxation time into a rolling office party. There will be time enough for all those things.

3. Fail - Gosh, if you read enough issues of Runner's World you figure almost everyone who laces up shoes runs a marathon and a good portion of those are Boston qualifiers.

I think we all learn a lot through failure, although most coaches will tell you there's nothing to be gained by his or her team falling down. Sometimes I fail because I just can't get up and out the door to get my running time in.

4. Be Unoriginal - I think runners and bikers are all creatures of habit. We like our traditional loops and routes. We enjoy knowing when the hard work is coming up or the long-steady hill is just around the corner. So on the originality scale we rank pretty low.

5. Exercise Poor Networking Skills - Hey, you want to run on Tuesday after work. Sure. I'll email you. And yet, the email never comes. How many times has that happened to you?

6. Do Anything To Get a Yes - Guilt is my primary motivator to get a yes out of myself when it comes to running. Let's say it's a Saturday afternoon and you’re driving down the street and the sun is shining brightly as you see smiling runners pass by.

The guilt gremlin will not take no for an answer, so you cave on your rest day and are back out on the road passing by other people in cars who are on their "off" days.

7. Be A Poor Judge Of People- I do most of my running on my own, so this one doesn't apply very often, although I have to say I am far too trusting of motorists. My rule of thumb is that our neighborhood is filled with old people who can't see runners and bikers and young drivers who don't want to see runners and bikers.

Cellphone talkers are the worst. I truly believe these devices are the spawn of the great Satan when it comes to motorists. Drivers just can't seem to put down their phones to control their 2,000-pound automobiles.

Maybe it makes me a good judge of poorly behaved people, but I always make contact with motorists at intersections and when crossing a street. 

Well, here's to running mediocrity at its best. When you're the world's slowest human it is, after all, all about failing to meet expectations.

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