Merry Christmas to Me!

Today I am 193.8 pounds of rolling thunder -- a month ago (forgive me readers for I have neglected you) I was 189.0 pounds of rolling thunder.

It's been a while since we've gotten together to talk about the joys and pitfalls of being a runner, and much has changed during that time. Obviously, there is more rolling thunder of me to go around, which I attribute to the freezing cold and my body's primordial desire to add a fat layer so as not to freeze to death over the winter.

At least that's the tale I tell myself as I struggle to answer why I keep an extra 5 pounds on my frame during the winter months, which sounds a whole lot better than the truth which is the cold and darkness reduce my running time by about 20 percent these days, and I often opt for indoor workouts that require less energy.

Perhaps the biggest change is the fact that I have now given in and purchased running shoes that cost me just short of the national debt. Yes, if paying out the nose for running shoes qualifies one as a "runner" than I should be on the brink of world class.

I've always wanted to go to one of those fancy running shoe stores to have an "expert" fitter look at my gait and watch to see if I was an under or over pronater but the lure of cheaper sporting goods store shoes always drew me in and kept me away.

This time, my mind was made up. I had made the laps at all the big box sales places and had even narrowed my choices down somewhat. But then, there I was at the mall with the running store. And then, there I was in stocking feet walking around a small oval so a stranger could watch me and analyze my steps.

The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by boxes filled with shoes baring all sorts of exotic names. Heck, the names alone made me feel like a runner -- or a cheetah.

My quick trip to the mall went from a mere 30 minutes to more than an hour as I slipped on countless shoes. First the left foot and then the right. Matched pairs. Mixed pairs. How does that feel? My, that toe box feels comfy. Plantar fasciitis would rule me no more.

Finally, it was down to two shoes. Yes, I could run in either of these. And the salesman was kind enough to correct me when I opined that I was a heavy runner. Really, there was no choice. One shoe was truly the most comfy, but then there it was. How about that model, I asked.

There it was. The holy grail of running shoes. The one in the big ad in a runner's magazine.

Why there was a pair in the back that was just my size. The minute those babies hit my feet it was a match made in running heaven. Price tags be damned. I was a runner. These shoes were going home with me.

And yes, they've been a great buy, but I'm still not going to break any land speed records. But oh do my feet and joints feel better. Merry Christmas to me.

Today I am 188.6 pounds of rolling thunder.

Snow is a word I had hoped not to use for another month or so, but here we are in mid-October and the temperatures have dipped into the low 40s. A check with our friends on Facebook tells me that snow has rolled across eastern Colorado and into western Kansas.

Fortunately, there is no call for snow in my forecast, but the thought of a misty, cold run after work today doesn't sound all that inviting.

Darn it all. Wasn't it just May when the last snowfall swept through the area turning spring back into winter one last time? Winter had overstayed its welcome then and it just might do it again.

If this sounds like the musing of a running wimp, well they are. I'm sort of a cold weather wimp, but I do like to get my run in so it might be time to find the tights and bundle up.

Plus, I've got some motivation. I finally bit the bullet and bought an UP to track my fitness efforts.

For those of you not familiar with the Up from Jawbone, it's a wristband device that tracks your movement and sleep. And, of course, it comes with an app that displays your data, lets you add things like meals and mood, and delivers insights that keep you moving forward.

And, of course, to make the app run I needed a cellphone upgrade. So being a runner, I decided to upgrade the phone as well so I could actually run the app that turns the UP on. Confused? Let's just say it was an excuse to add more gizmos to my already cluttered life.

So after wrestling the UP from its tightly sealed packaging I put it on and started the day off counting steps and calories. o far, 2,272 steps taken and 1,054 calories burned. I'm feeling healthier already, and I'm also sensing pie in my future.

Hopefully, there is an app to shake the wimp from my system and get me back out on the road. How shameful would it be for the world's slowest human not to hit the streets when he's got a new UP to tell him where he's going?

Sometimes you've got to take the bad with the good

Today I am 190.2 pounds of rolling thunder.

Sometimes my back and I have serious disagreements. Other times, we just hold discussions on how the day is going to go. Usually, the issues are more a matter of discussion than serious disagreement.

So today things are a little balky. I should have seen it coming, but the week of running had gone so well it was hard to imagine things would end this way.

It was a good week of running. I made my usual 5- and 6-mile loops without any walking. In fact, I was able to climb all the hills without so much as one walked step. I was also able to accelerate just a bit on a few of the climbs, which normally does not happen.

But yesterday, the wheels started coming off. I wanted to do a timed 3 miles to see if I had made any progress, but just a few strides into my first hill climb I knew it wasn't to be. The strength in my legs and lungs just was not there.

I walked and ran up the first half-mile hill, stretched and then hit the road. I slogged through a mile in pretty good time, but when I made the turn, I decided to shut things down. This dog would live to fight another day.

But that day won't be today. Balky back and I are in negotiations. Tylenol and other meds are involved. Hopefully it's just a discussion and not a serious disagreement.

Wish me luck!

Summer or not, game on runners

Today I am 193.6 pounds of rolling thunder.

This is the time of year when the air gets thick, the temperatures rise, and my excuses to run less and walk more become increasingly plentiful. If there's an excuse for not running you need rationalized, I'm your guy.

But I also get really mad at myself when I can't run as far or as fast as I should. You'd think a grown person would be able to go more than a half a mile at a time without a brief walk, but there are days when that doesn't happen for me.

So today I had my sights set on running more and walking less. The past week of running has been filled with fits and starts as the heat built back in and my running seemed to be more labored.

Being the world's slowest human, it generally comes as no surprise when people jet past me out on the streets. Real runners. Ladies with jogger strollers. Old men with dogs. You name it, and they pretty much zoom past me at will.

So today when a woman passed me on the opposite side of the street on my usual 4-mile loop it really came as no surprise. Usually I just watch as those young legs race off into the distance while I am powerless to give chase.

Today's passerby was no different. I was making my slow trek over some rollers when she raced by. But for fun and as a challenge to myself I thought I'd try to keep running as long as she was running. And then, she walked. But I kept running. She talked on her cellphone. I kept running.

She topped the hill and started running again, so I figured the game was over. I've acquired a taste for the dust that gets kicked  in your face when you're as slow as I am.

Then she walked again, which gave me an excuse to walk -- which I did. But before long I was running again and she kept walking.

The next thing I knew, I was passing someone. Granted I was the only one who knew we were competing. But yes, I was moving past another human being who was out running. I had broken my own rule and passed someone, and this time she was under 80.

Now this didn't keep me from walking up a few more hills as I extended my loop from 4 to 5 miles after being inspired by this feat. But it did put a little more spring in my step, or was that just the naproxen talking?

Either way, I felt inspired. And when I looked back over my shoulder, my confidence took a turn for the worse as I noticed my running partner had turned off onto another street. I guess the taste of dust isn't as sweet as I had become accustomed to.

More than likely, her cellphone could get better reception on another street.

Anyway, you see the world's slowest human out there on the heated streets, give me a wave.