Why Did I Ever Race The Clock?

Day 50 -- Sept. 25, 2012

Today I'm 193.2 pounds of rolling thunder.

It's been a while since I raced the clock. Quite a while in fact.

One of the nice things about being the world's slowest human is never having to punch the clock.

But every once in a while I indulge my vanity and try a little test of speed. And just as often I get a punch to the gut that tells me that I'm not fooling anyone.

Nevertheless I've been running well lately with few if any breaks to walk, so I thought I'd test my mettle with a 3-mile timed run. I have a 3-mile route that is a mixture of stop lights and small hills, so timing is everything if you want to keep momentum going.

I warmed up by jogging up the hill near my house. It's a half-mile stretch that tells me where I'm at for the day. Run all the way up, and it's going to be a good day. Run/walk/run and it's OK. Run and then walk, and you're asking for trouble.

But part of the reason I start on top of the hill is to give myself a rolling start. I know downhills are tougher on ankles, knees and other joints, but so far it hasn't been an issue.

So I jogged to the top of the hill and took it as an omen that it was going to be a good day out on the road. I stopped at the corner to stretch and loosen my muscles, which, by the way, are genetically hard-wired to be tight as piano wire.

It was a mild yet humid day, so sweat came easy as I punched my wrist watch and started down the mile-long descent to the first turn. And even though you say time doesn't matter, just once it would be nice to look down at the half-mile or mile marker and be surprised by the number staring back at you.

There was no surprise at the half-mile mark. The number on my watch was large and getting larger.

I made the mile turn in a time that could as easily have been measured on a sun dial as on a digital wrist watch. Ouch! But I was still running. No walks.

I rounded the corner and began the second mile, which is filled with rolling hills and a single stop light. A long stop light, but the only one along the way. Catch it just right and you can maintain momentum from the hill you're on as you ascend the next one. Miss it, and it's a long wait for green.

I figured I'd be OK if I was only a minute slower in the second mile -- not proud, but OK. So moral victory No. 2 was making the second mile with all its hills without walking and only a minute slower than the downhill mile at the start of the run.

I turned the corner and headed for home. A half-mile downhill followed by a long flat (with two lights) and then a gradual ascent to the finish. I saw a walker in the distance so I pushed to try and catch her. I made the stop light and passed the walker on the flat.

I made the second light with little delay and rolled up the final climb. My time was horrible, but I had gone the distance without a walk or much of a pause. Victory was in the doing and not in the time was my rationalization, and I'm sticking to it.

So the next time you see the world's slowest human out on the streets, give me a wave.

You've Got To Put Something Out There ...

Day 43, Sept. 21, 2012

Today, I'm 191.2 pounds of rolling thunder.

A not-so-famous philosopher once said, "You've got to put something out there, if you expect to get something back."

For the past 14-plus months, I've been a part-time runner, full-time contract writer/editor and an avid job seeker.

During that time, I've seen my weight go up and down. My endurance ebb and flow. And my focus to get healthier take three steps forward along with the occasional two steps back.

And during that time I've worked for a network of news websites under one ownership group. I've worked as an editor for three specific television station news websites and led all three to 30-day page view highs. I helped one site nearly double its monthly page views and assisted in their redesign and migration to a new content management system.

During that time, I've seen the ups and downs of most job seekers in today's economy. I've interviewed with small companies and mega-companies. I've been in talks with folks from the public and private sector. All told, I've interviewed with more than 20 companies, which I take as a good sign. 

The one thought I come away with is that any candidate that tells you the economy is recovering is not looking for a job. 

So I keep pushing, both out on the road and on the job seeking front. Each has its own rewards. I've met a lot of neat people while looking for jobs in industries I'd never really thought much about. And I've surprised myself with the improvements I've made in my running.

Besides, it was our younger son who offered that sage wisdom beyond his years when he said, "You've got to put something out there, if you expect to get something back."

Today, I'm going to put something out there when I go for my run and as I look for a full-time job. How else will I ever get something back?

Call Me A Biorhythm Believer

Day 40, Sept. 17, 2012

Today I'm 192 pounds of rolling thunder.

Either that or my digital scale is stuck at 192, and I'm just a random amount of rolling whatever, but we'll go with thunder for argument's sake.

So today was a long run day, and the weather was cooperating when I hit the pavement for my 6.5-mile jaunt. 

The first hill is normally an indicator of how the day will go. It's about a half-mile from bottom to top, so if I start sucking wind in the first 100 yards, I pretty much know it's going to be one of those days.

You don't hear people talking as much about biorhythms as you did some years ago. The theory being that your body has physical highs and low on a relatively regular cycle.

I guess I fall into the camp of believers. There's just times when my lungs move easier and my heart keeps beat without as much stress.

And while this belief is purely anecdotal on my part, I'm going with it. I think there are times when we all perform better than others. But I'll admit to a certain amount of serendipity to my biorhythms. I definitely have never tried to chart my ups and downs.

Today was an up. I felt good from the moment I stepped out of the door and started off on a trot to the moment I got halfway up the first hill. But my breathing was easy, so I got my mind around the task at hand and made it the rest of the way up the hill.

I completed the long rise that came next without issue and started in on the next big hill. I made it to the top of hill No. 2, which is shorter, but steeper than the first. It's always an accomplishment for me to make it up this hill without walking, and it felt especially good today to cruise down the back side even picking up my pace as I continued down the hill.

Boy those biorhythms must have been peaking because I made a few stoplight stops but didn't really walk until I got halfway up my nemesis hill. But even that one only got the best of me a few times.

And the hill in the sixth mile took some of the snap out of my legs, but I managed to only walk for two short bursts. Then I charged down the final hill and called it a day.

Tomorrow is another day, so we'll see how that one treats me. But if you see the world's slowest human, remember to wave at me.

Sports Talk Or NPR, Which Will It Be Today?

Day 38, Sept. 14, 2012

Today, I'm 192.0 pounds of rolling thunder.

And it was a great day to be out on the road.

Today was long run day for me, which usually means about a 6.5-mile run/walk/run through the neighborhood. I'd like to tell you it was run/run/run all the way, but I have to admit to some walking moments, but only on the hills.

After a day of rain and cold, the sun finally broke out just before noon. It was good enough for long sleeves, but the remains of summer made it warm enough to wear shorts. It was one of those days when summer and autumn are fighting for custody of the climate and we mere mortals are just along for the ride.

My weekday runs always start with an uphill job. My strategy is to start at the top of the hill and let gravity and momentum help get my legs moving and the blood pumping. But in the past few months, I've replaced the warm-up walk up the hill, with a slow job that normally gives way to a walk somewhere up the steep slope.

You get a lot solved out on the road. My mind wanders from sports talk radio to NPR with a flick of a switch on the old portable radio. I might be the last person in the world to have a portable radio that isn't linked to a cellphone, MP3 player or all in one.

I have a cellphone. I have and MP3 player. I'm not a total Luddite. I just prefer to listen to talk radio while I'm running rather than music. I guess in that respect, I do fall more toward the Luddite category.

I almost always get hooked on the stump the chumps on sports talk. And it alarms me somewhat that I know more of the answers involving baseball and football players from the '60s and '70s than I do contemporary players.

It does, however, annoy me that the sports talk folks choose to pick at the same four or five scabs all week long. Yes, KU football sucks. No, Bill Snyder will never let you watch K-State football practice. Yes, Missouri made the biggest mistake in its history leaving the Big 12. And no, the Royals and Chiefs won't make the playoffs this year.

There. Happy?

Click, it's time for Science Friday. Thank goodness for NPR when the talk radio folks have played themselves out. NPR is the go-to friend you call on who you know will agree with your opinion regardless of how far from rational you have traveled.

"Click and Clack" are easy to bike to. They make the miles roll by quickly. I'm not sure what the best is for running. I guess that falls under the works-in-progress category.

So today I rolled most of the way up my nemesis long hill before giving in to the walk. I took a couple more stabs at running before the turn but it was admittedly a run/walk/run effort. From there, though, I ran inspired. My only stops were at stoplights, and I climbed the long hill in the sixth mile of my run without a walk.

All in all, it was a good day to be pounding the pavement.

I still might be the world's slowest human, but you can give me a wave anyway.

Cool Rain Means Autumn Is Near

Day 37 -- Sept. 13, 2012

Today, I am 190.6 pounds of rolling thunder.

And welcome back autumn.

While the calendar might say we're a week away, somebody forgot to tell the weather man, or Mother Nature, or both.

Just 24 hours ago my rolling mass of middle-aged thunder was running shirtless through the streets in 90-plus degree weather. Not so much today. 

I had to dig out my running tights (OK, I'm a bit of a wimp) and my jacket for today's run. The skies were gray all day and a cool wind whipped the leaves around the street. All morning the clouds threatened to bring rain, but nothing.

As I walked out the door, I saw a humming bird floating around in our front yard. I'm not sure if that's an omen, but between that and finding a dime yesterday out on my run, I figure there's got to be some good luck in there somewhere.

Today was one of those days when you dress for the first few steps out of the door of the house and find yourself sweating like a fiend by the 2-miles stop light. 

It was a good day to run, though. The rain held off and the air was clean with a bit of a snap to it. It was a sharp contrast to recent days when the air has been thick and ozone alerts prevailed.

I did my normal run/walk/run thing without much fanfare. Yesterday, just as I stopped my run the strap on my hand weights snapped. Two weeks old and snap. Guess there's a trip to the sporting goods store in my near future. Just hoping I don't need a receipt.

But I digress. Today was a good run, followed by 10 minutes on the bike to get things loosened up.

Finally, the rain came in the afternoon, and I was glad to be off the street. It started as a sprinkle I noticed on the skylight in the shower and by the time I ran an errand it was a steady rain on a cool day.

Autumn can't be far away now.

So give me a wave the next time you see the world's slowest man out on the streets.

Funny How A Little Good News Lifts Your Spirits

Day 36 -- Sept. 12, 2012

Today, I'm 190.6 pounds of rolling thunder.

Earlier today, I was 190.6 pounds of rolling anger, but it's amazing what a lift you get when your child does something good.

Today it was announced that our older son is a National Merit Scholarship semifinalists. He's one of only eight from his school who qualified, and one of only 21 kids from the entire district. So it's a proud moment for mom and dad and all his family.

Now we've known for a little while but were sworn to secrecy, but today it came out in our hyper-local online newspaper, so it's official. We can shout it from the mountaintops.

And on Monday, he inched a little closer to choosing a college during his campus visit. This, however, brings a little bounce to his step on the recruiting trail.

Last weekend, we went to the second cross country meet of the year, where he finished 18th in the junior varsity race earning his first medal. His time was just a hair under 20 minutes, which is a far cry from where he started.

As a freshman, he showed up at the team time trial with a Walk-Man and headphones and ran/walked his way to a time that was somewhere north of 30 minutes for a 5K. And while experience told me that he'd be able to cut significant chunks of time off if he applied himself, getting down under 20 minutes over the past three years has been a great feat.

Although he'd never admit it, I'm guessing the cross country medal means as much or more to him right now in life than the National Merit semifinalist, but both are the result of a lot of determination and dedication both inside the classroom and on the field of competition.

Heck, I'd settle for getting under 30 minutes for a 5K myself right now.

So it's hats off to the lad. He's struggled mightily and achieved a goal he's been chasing for a long time.

Now it's my turn. I've got a job interview today, and then my 190.6 of rolling thunder will hit the pavement.

It's long-run day, so if you see the world's slowest human laboring through 6.5 miles, give me a wave.

9/11: Can You Believe It's 11 Years Later?

Day 35 -- Sept. 11, 2012

Today, I'm 193.4 pounds of rolling thunder.

Eleven years ago, the world for most Americans changed dramatically.

Until then, most people went about their lives not giving much notice or concern to national security.

Sept. 11, 2001 changed all that. Suddenly everything was different, and an era of innocence was lost.

A lot of people spent today remembering the tragedy of 11 years ago when terrorists attacked the United States. I heard a lot of people recalling what they were doing when they heard the news that a plane had flown into one of the towers of the World Trade Center in New York.

I remember it exactly because of the selfish thought I had at the time. I had just turned on the road that led to my job when the radio said a plane had crashed into one of the towers.

At the time, it was my job to figure out what image would go on the front page of the next day's newspaper. I remember thinking how over the years small planes had accidentally hit building such as the Empire State Building. What the radio news account did not include was the fact that it was a major airliner and the tower was on fire.

Shortly after I made it to the office the second tower was hit. Then the Pentagon. And you could see the look of panic start to set in in a newsroom filled with journalists who had faced the toughest of stories without flinching, but this was something unknown.

At the time, we had no idea the scope of the attacks. Because the attacks came on so many fronts, we began fearing for our own lives and the lives of our families.

By 9:20 the decision was made to put out an afternoon extra edition. By 11 a.m. the edition rolled off the presses, and we had begun a news cycle that wouldn't end for at least 48 more hours. 

One of the most heartening stories I remember from the tragedy came weeks later when school children in South Carolina raised money to replace a fire engine from Red Hook in New York that had been destroyed when the towers fell. 

The effort was payback from a post-Civil War gesture that came from New Yorkers who replaced a fire engine for the city of Columbia, S.C.

A fire truck is no cheap purchase, so you can imagine how many pennies and dimes the kids had to raise to buy the truck. But with lots of help, they bought the truck and went to New York to be in a parade.

Today's run was great because I still have the freedom to ramble about. Although times aren't nearly so innocent, we still have freedoms that other nations can only dream of. 

So enjoy the day. And if you see the world's slowest human out on the road, give me a wave.

It's Not Easy Being Green

Day 34 -- Sept. 10, 2012

Today I'm 194-plus pounds of rolling thunder.

Yes, plus because I forgot what my decimal number was today, so I'll let you fill in the blank yourself.

Today was a brilliant day to be out on the road gathering in miles and enjoying the mild breeze and clear, blue sky. No ozone alerts today. No boiling sun beating down. Just a great Indian Summer day.

I hate when I paint myself into a time corner when it comes to running, but that's exactly what I did today. I can find a million ways to spend the hours, including looking for gigantic sock monkey backpacks -- and yes, such a thing does exist.

I'd like to think my dawdle time is fairly productive. Today I washed and waxed the car, and all our vehicles got new windshield wiper blades.

So by the time I got my running shoes on and hit the road, my window was a bit limited. But today being my long run day and the weather being so nice, I launched on my 6.5-mile trek, throwing caution to the wind and set sail at my normal run/walk/run clip.

Funny thing about launching yourself on a long run when the lining of your running shorts are just a little damp from the day before. I'm not one to complain about the nagging aches and pains of running. In fact, there's something life-affirming to having a little bit of that satisfying tired muscle feeling that sticks with you for the rest of the day after a run or workout.

I think it serves as a reminder that you've done something good for your body.

Today, however, I did something bad. It wasn't long before that little damp feeling began to rub. I could feel it coming on, but I wasn't turning back.

Now through more than 20 years of bike riding I've learned a lot about managing pain and discomfort. And rule No. 1 is prevention is usually much easier than finding a cure.

But I wasn't listening to that voice today. Surely I could make it through an hour of running without chaffing or worse.

 

Somewhere in mile five or six, that belief changed. I knew the badness was coming but like in a horror movie there was nothing I could do to stop it. The inside of my thighs were on fire from the rubbing, but I had no choice but to soldier on to the finish.

When I hopped in the shower, an angry set of red marks stared at me from the inside of my thighs. "Why did you put those wet shorts on?" I could hear them say.

Many years ago, I had made a similar mistake on Bike Across Kansas. That's where I first became acquainted with the little green can from Vermont, which is a friend to both biker and runner alike.

When you've got severe chaffing, Bag Balm is your friend. They've been making the stuff since 1899. It works on cow udders and tender human parts as well. It's not expensive and a can will last you quite a while. 

If you're not acquainted with the little green can, you should be. It's good for saddle sores or treating backside before a long bike ride. It's also good to use as a pre-run lube for your legs or between your toes.

The Bag Balm website says Admiral Byrd took Bag Balm with him on his 1937 expedition to the North Pole to protect against the harsh climate.

So if it was good enough for the admiral, it's good enough for me. The one drawback is the odor. While it's not bad, it's not charming either. 

You can spend a lot more for similar products, but you won’t' get a lot more.

So today's lesson is don't run in damp shorts, but if you do, be sure to have a little green can handy.

That's it. You know the drill. If you see the world's slowest human out on the road, give me a wave.

Dad's Runnin' On Empty

 

Day 32-33 -- Sept. 8&9

Today, I'm 193.4 pounds of rolling thunder.

Probably more like rolling Jell-O. But rolling is the operative word.

Yesterday was a sandwich fun, meaning I had to sandwich 45 minutes on the road between two halves of my work day. 

The sandwich part was the difficult part. The hard part was getting going on about five hours of sleep. Nothing like having zero in the tank when you head out on the road.

So just how did I end up on the wrong end of the gas gauge before my run? Simple math. You add a work day that ended after midnight with an early morning drop-off for our ambitious cross country runners and the result is dad running on empty.

 But that's OK. It was a fantastic day for cross country racing. The day broke cool after a cold front pushed through the area and dropped some needed rain on Friday afternoon.

The skies were clear on race day and by starting time the temperatures were mild with a light breeze. The undulating hills of the Topeka West course would provide a nice challenge.

We came to the event with two thoughts in mind. One, how fast could our older son go? And second, could we coax a sub-30-minute 5K out our younger son who seemed to have a running resurgence after nearly quitting the team earlier in the week.

In the end, it was a good day all around. The older lad made his run in less than 20 minutes for the first time this season, and he earned a cross country medal for the first time in his career. It was a great effort. You can tell he's stronger than a year ago when such a feat would have left him nearly passing out at the finish line.

Perhaps our biggest concern on the day was how our younger son would fare after pulling out of his last race and nearly quitting the team. 

But our concerns, at least on this day, were unfounded. He ran a personal best and came within six seconds of going under 30 seconds. In case anyone is wondering, that's a 9:41 mile pace, which may not be blistering, but as the world's slowest human I can greatly appreciate the effort and applaud him for getting back on his competitive horse and running the race.

Next week's race is on an even faster track where many people set their personal bests. With another week of good training and more fine weather for race day, who knows? Knowing it's a fast track and he's on the brink of a personal running milestone should give him some added motivation to do well.

As for me, I'm still the world's slowest human, just a little more fatigued than normal. So if you see me plodding along at an even slower than normal pace, give me a wave.

Hello to an old friend

Day 31 -- Sept. 7, 2012

Today I'm 193.6 pounds of rolling thunder -- and I miss my snowman.

While it's Friday for the rest of the world, in my odd universe of working nights and weekends as a contract writer/editor it's somewhere between Tuesday and Wednesday. In this new normal, you work when you can and work on finding work when you're not working.

But when it's run time, it's run time. That's the plus side of this schedule. Nearly every day I find 45 minutes to two hours of sanctuary by hitting the streets or the spin bike and lose myself in my thoughts. 

Yesterday was a good day for a run. Warm with a slight breeze to take the heat off. 

So I decided to switch things up a bit. It's been more than a year since I had done the loop I chose for the day. I used to make this run after dropping our younger son off at middle school. It made for a nice hour to an hour and half jaunt through a beautiful adjacent neighborhood.

On this day, I left the house and made my way past the middle school. Wow, a mile down and no stops. Good boy. 

I managed to make it up the long, slow steady rise in the next mile and then down the twisting descent to the corner where kids were out on the playground at the preschool enjoying a warm late-summer day. Ahead was a long flat and then a dip over a bubbling creek and then up a short, steep hill.

It had been some time since I'd done any of this without my normal run/walk/run routine. And to be honest, it had become mostly a walk the hills and run the descents affair.

So as I crossed the creek and eyed the hill I was determined not to stop. I carried as much momentum as possible into the climb and tried to keep a steady pace.

Step by step I climbed the hill. My quads were burning. Sweat was pouring. And I was panting.

But I made no excuses. I dug in and crested the hill and turned the corner.

I don't really remember when I walked after that. It didn't matter. I had mastered a hill that I hadn't had success with in a long time. The rest of the run was gravy.

I enjoy this route. The tree-lined lanes take me past million-dollar mansions and well-manicured golf courses. It's quiet and alive all at the same time.

I rolled back into home base feeling good about the run and the day ahead. I was reminded how good it is to see an old friend like this route that I had forgotten but had now reacquainted myself with.

Who knows what today will bring. One thing is for sure, I'm still the world's slowest human.

Sometimes it's little victories that count

Day 30 -- Sept. 6, 2012

Today I'm 192 pounds of rolling thunder.

Yes the snowmen have melted. The eights in my daily weight are back to their normal nines. But it's OK, I've tasted the Promised Land, and all that means is more hard work.

Yesterday's run was a little conflicted. I don't know about anybody else, but running and lawn mowing are the two activities where I solve a lot of the world's problems.

On Tuesday, our younger son announced in a note that he was no longer going out for cross country. This weighed heavy on our hearts and minds as we tried to decide what to do for the lad and with the lad.

There's nothing easy about committing yourself to an exercise routine. Nothing at all. It takes work to get results. 

There's also nothing easy about laboring outside in the 90-plus degree heat. It affects your body, you mind and your psyche.

All this comes at a time when the pressures of school starting up again are blended in with his work on his Eagle Scout project proposal. Any one of the three would be tough, but all three at once were a little too much.

So we had a sit-down with the lad that was part come-to-Jesus and part pep talk. We don't allow our children to quit activities once they join. Even if it means standing on the sideline for every practice. Participation and commitment are two valuable lessons.

We also spent time talking about things we could do to help the situation along a little. We talked about treatments for sore muscles and ways to be a part of the team.

This morning, the lad gave his presentation to the school where he wants to do his Eagle Project, and the PowerPoint presentation was well received. I could see a huge cloud of concern lift from over his head, almost like in a Charlie Brown cartoon.

I could also see the pride coming back. When I looked over my shoulder when I dropped him off at school, the Boy Scout Class A uniform had been replaced by his cross country team T-shirt.

My run, oh yeah, I pounded out 6.5 miles in my run/walk/run style. We're not out of the woods yet with the lad, but we took a good step forward.

So if you see the world's slowest human out there on the street today, give me a wave.

A Snownman In September

Day 29 -- Sept. 5, 2012

Today I'm 189.8 pounds of rolling thunder.

Everybody loves a snowman, especially when it's 95 degrees outside.

What's this you say, snowman talk in early September? Why yes, and a double snowman at that.

Golfers know all about the snowman. An eight on your scorecard looks an awful lot like a snowman and not a great thing to have to record when you're hitting the links.

Today, when I weighed in I was thrilled to see a snowman pop up as the second digit. It's been a while since I saw an eight as the second number. So long, in fact, that I jumped (well stepped) on and off the scale a number of times.

You see I've got a digital scale that measures everything from weight to body fat to phases of the moon. But it also can be a little shifty about recording weight. The first measurement is almost always delightfully low, so I usually do three readings to make sure which one sticks.

And lately the one that sticks reflects the goo that sticks around my chewy, chocolate center.

I'd like to say I know the magic that was used to turn the nine into and eight, but for now I'm just happy to see my old friend the snowman.

I'm also being sort of selfish. I'm trying to channel as much mojo as I can to our younger son who is struggling this year with his running. What a difference a year makes. And what a difference having some friends to run and pal around with at meets and practices makes.

Last year, both boys loved cross country. This year, the younger one is struggling to find his place on the team. He hasn't really turned the corner on how running can be enjoyable, so that makes things even tougher.

Running is one of those activities where you have to put in the time. The more you run, the stronger you get, and with a little coaching the faster you get. You definitely gain fitness, strength and stamina.

It certainly isn't an activity that you can rely on natural ability alone to be successful. But for our young lad it's hard to get passed the nagging soreness of the start of the season. And the running in the heat and humidity.

His mother and I are thankful for supportive coaches. Hopefully we can find a way to make it seem less like daily drudgery and more like something to look forward to.

Last season, he had friends on the team, and they all ran about the same pace. This year, the friends didn't come back out, so it's a little lonely right now.

So we're trying to channel our mojo his way. We're also working to manage his soreness with ice baths (yeah, he hasn't tried that yet), Epsom salts and pain medications. 

Back on the street yesterday, I added some hand weights to my short day, and it was a whole new experience. I know the reviews are mixed on running with weights, but it's better than running with scissors. One of the bad things about running is it does little for your upper body. By adding the hand weights you get work for your shoulders, back, plus upper and lower arms.

I'm not sure I'd use them on a long day, but every once in a while on short runs it helps mix things up a bit.

Today will be a long run day for the world's slowest human (and now snowman), so if you see me out on the road, give me a wave.