Monday, August 27, 2012

Luke, I'm Your Lung Exerciser

Day 19 (or 20, depends on who's counting)

Today I'm 194.2 pounds of rolling thunder.

And after watching the "Biggest Loser: Makeover Edition," I feeling a little somewhere between guilty and grateful. Grateful that I didn't start at 300 pounds plus. But guilty that the dial on my scale hasn't dipped any faster than it has.

I guess grateful, too, that it didn't rise uncontrollably to an embarrassing level while I penned this blog.

So yesterday's run was another quick one sandwiched into my break from my editing work. Forty-five minutes of running without a stop. The temps were mild and the humidity was up but manageable. 

I climbed a hill that I've never been able to run all the way up in the past. It wasn't fast or pretty, but I made it.

Saturday afternoon, Darth Vader rolled into our house in the form of a package from Amazon. Inside the package was something called a lung exerciser.

Now before you go writing me off as a COPD patient or something dire, these devices also have been tested and approved for runners, bikers and endurance athletes.

Still, I couldn't help but feel a little bit like old Darth when I put the little breather in my mouth and it began hissing as I sucked air in and out through the mouthpiece.

I also couldn't help but feel a little bit like Kevin Costner in "Tin Cup" when he tried on all the golf gizmos he'd ordered from late-night television. I'm usually pretty good about steering clear of those gimmicks, and QVC and I parted company long ago.

So on the Saturday the grand experience began. Darth Vader is in the house (sans mask) and the wheezing has begun. The tiny instruction book said 25 breaths at a time, three times a day. It also said I won't feel the real effects for about a month.

Here's the deal. I'll keep you updated on my progress. I've never been a really strong breather while running, so what the heck.

In a month, if the thing works I'll tell you all about it. Or in 30 days, if you see a lung exerciser on EBay you'll know why.

Either way, you see the world's slowest human out on the street today, give me a wave and I'll wheeze right back at you.

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